"I remember one time up at university; I smoked 2 grams of meth, and drank mescal till the sun came up. I proceeded to vomit violently for what felt like 6 or 7 hours... my vomiting was a thousand times more aurally exciting than Dasher's performance at the venerable Don Hills in NYC.
We'll start with the high point and work down from there; The femme Guitar/Keyboard player, Jenniffer Cornejo. F irst of all , ONE “F” in JenniFer, and secondly, if your last name sounds like “Corn hole”, its time for a fucking stage name. Talent can be excused for good looks in any case, but this poor boriqua savage was like a Latina Courtney Love minus the creamy goodness of being trashy... or dirty... or even mildly interesting to watch. I think she was singing, but had the vocal projection of a Furby with dead batteries.
Then we have sweaty, over-noodley front man, L.A.S.E. Yes.... that is this douchbag's name. I'm almost embarrassed for him. He was trying to rock out like he's G.E Smith leading the SNL band, but was looking like Keith Richard's down-syndrome afflicted son Warren (have you seen my baseball?). In rock hard-on fashion, he sported a tattoo on his right arm. Sneaking out below his rolled up white t-shirt sleeve was this tattoo of a Sperm . I wish I had a punch line for this, but sometimes the jokes write themselves.
Not native to the NYC scene, the two lead players, Cornhole and Sperm Arm, emigrated here from Lima , Peru . Regarding their relocation, "We felt that we'd taken it as far as we could in Peru , so the hour was upon us to come to New York to take the next step,” says Jeni. They packed suitcases with nothing but musical gear and headed North. "We did not bring clothes -- we had to buy new stuff to wear when we got here." (taken from their website - thedashersound.com)
Whoever gave these 2 visas to come here needs to be shot…
…in the groin…
…twice.
Assuming a band is only as good as its rhythm section, I.N.S. status not withstanding, we're off to a bad start with these two.
Drummer, Ben Arons, looked fresh off a 90-day stint at the Scott Weiland Treatment Facility. That's the one where they give you Coke to get you off the Heroin. The man keeps time like the Lead Snare Drummer in the School for the Deaf Marching Band. His tempo varied so much and so often, I thought his metronome was on acid.
Bassist, Bob Donlon, was the most solid player in the bunch. Simple articulate bass lines, and subtle vocal harmonies were well delivered, although, I can't tell how one can harmonize to chimps mating. There is a reason you don't see how Bob looks in the photos on the front page of their site, though. The man looks like the lost member of a Devo tribute band. Now, I'm all for the 80's revival thing because, as we learned in House Party 2, what didn't suck enough the first time, is sure to suck undeniably in the sequel. Be that as it may, this was going too far…
So, in summation of my first review for fyourband.com;
With songs that sound like Rick Springfield & Joan Jett on a bad Meth High, questionable resident alien status, no discernable look among them, and a banner that looks like an accident at the Reynolds Wrap Foil plant, I am going to give Dasher….
The finger.
I always liked Donner and Blitzen better anyway.